Today I had to say goodbye to my grandpa. It has been one of the most amazing, love-filled, heart wrenching days of my life. A few days ago grandpa was admitted to the hospital for a bad fall he took. With his heart failing and being 92 years old we knew it was probably just a matter of time. Yesterday he made the decision to go off of all of his medication and let nature take its course. I still had to pack up the remainder of our house so that the pod could be picked up. So, this morning after the truck left the house with all of our belongings inside, I called up my dad to see how things were going. I had gone back and forth on whether or not I wanted to go to the hospital. Me and the kids had stopped in to see grandpa a week before coming back from Burley over the 24th of July weekend. He was so happy to see us and told me he was so worried I would move to Chicago without saying goodbye. I laughed and said there was no way I would do that and that Dan and I would be back through to see him in a week. It was a perfect summer day and Vicky had him all set up out there on the back porch. He gave each of my kids a huge grandpa bear hug and kiss. He genuinely asked each one how they were and then told them about the wild raspberry bush in the backyard that they should go and pick berries from. I could tell he seemed much more sentimental about everything and was just taking life in. We sat and watched a hummingbird and he told me about everyone who had stopped in to see him and what they were up to. He was always genuinely interested in everyone's well being. It was a great visit. When grandma was in the hospital before she passed away I was at BYU and it was finals week. I didn't get to come see her at the hospital and have always felt bad about that. Then, once I was talking to Angie about it and she said I shouldn't feel bad. She somewhat regretted seeing grandma that way. So, I had debated whether or not I should go. But after the Pod was loaded I decided I'd much rather go and regret it than not go and regret it. So, I called my dad nervous that the news would be bad and told him I was going to head to the hospital to see grandpa if he was still hanging on. My dad laughed and told me that he was there eating lunch with Mike and Angie and that grandpa was up talking!
So, Steve was planning on coming to our house to help me finish moving stuff, so I called him and asked him if he and Danielle could watch the kids while I went to the hospital. Luckily they were just on there way, so I met them at the hospital to take the kids.
Sophia was so sweet. She remembered the last time I went and visited grandpa in the hospital. Dan was home and we all loaded up in the car to go see him. Since the kids couldn't go into his room I had them each make him a card that I could give him. They worked so hard on them and I wish I had taken a picture of them because Mason's had a picture of an ambulance and him and grandpa holding hands. Grandpa's stick figure said "I'm feeling better" and Mason's stick figure said, "yay!" It was so heartfelt. Parker drew hearts and Sophia traced her hand and told him she loved him. So, this time when I was going....she insisted on making him a card and instructed me to give it to him.
When I arrived at the hospital and walked into grandpa's room my aunt Linda and uncle Byron were on either side of grandpa holding his hands. He looked really bad and I first thought, "oh no, this was a bad idea." But after I walked into the room, Linda left to call Janet and Vicky and I gave grandpa a kiss and held his hand and knew I had made the right decision. After a few minutes, grandpa's neighbor, Bruce, from Brigham City stopped in with his new wife that he wanted to introduce to grandpa. Grandpa went from laying down, almost incoherent, opened his eyes...stuck out his hand and had to check out the pretty lady!!! It was such a classic K.V. moment! He was somewhat coherent so I showed him the picture from Sophia and told him that my kids all wanted to be there and they sure love their great-grandpa!
Soon Mike, Angie, Dad, Mom, Sheldon, Michelle, Janet, Byron, Lynda, and I were all in the room. Janet had just returned from Bear Lake and wanted to read a note from Shanille. You could feel the love in that room for such a great man. With 26 grandchildren you would think he would be distant. But he was always so loving and so happy. He was always wanting a big bear hug and kiss. He literally lit up when someone would walk in the room and I always felt like it made his whole day to see me. He also had 57 great-grandchildren, but my kids felt special when they were with him, too. Parker used to call him "great"-great grandpa. They were so concerned about him being ill. It was great to be in that room and talk about what a great dad/grandpa he was. We laughed and cried and I can truly say that my family is the most amazingly awesome family in the world. We awed at how the nurses and doctors were all doting on grandpa. He never met a stranger and didn't miss a pretty girl:)
Vicky had gone back home to shower as she hadn't left grandpa's side for days. When she finally got there she was instantly at his side holding his hand. You could see the love in her eyes for my grandpa and it was a really touching moment to witness. As the day went on you could see he was getting more uncomfortable so the nurses gave him more morophine and he slept most of the time. At one point I was going to go home, but after walking out in the parking lot with my mom and making a phone call and found out that my kids were doing great I decided to stick around a little longer. I am so glad I did because they decided to have a family prayer. Byron gave it and while it was hard to bear the thought of my grandpa being gone, there was a sense of peace. I think I said goodbye about 4 times, kissing his cheek each time. Finally, I knew I had to get back home to my nursing baby so I said my final goodbye. He was alseep, but I'm so glad I got that last kiss off of him.
It was only 30 minutes later that I got the text message that he had passed away.
I have so many wonderful memories with my grandpa. He was there for many trips to Yellowstone (and lots of squeeky cheese), many vacations to Lake Powell, my baptism, my wedding, so many days at Bear Lake, and innumberable trips to my parents cabin in Wyoming. I am so glad he and Vicky came along with our family on our trip to Alaska last June. I will have great memories of him sitting in his chair there on the boat listening to his Larry H. Miller book on tape and just lighting up when he saw us walk by. Then he would tell us about all the people he met while sitting there. I think he knew half the boat by the time the cruise was over! Truely an amazing man and a wonderful example of what a patriarch of a family should be.
I am going to miss him terribly and I think he took a piece of my heart with him.
I love you grandpa.
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