{Empty}

Yesterday Mike and Stacie came down with Ty and Tanner to help out me and my mom with loading our Pod.  The elders quorum came and loaded all the big furniture in less than an hour.  So, we all boxed, taped and especially laughed to our hears content.  My dad was planning on helping, but ended up with the stomach flu so he woke up first thing that morning and headed back to Idaho. 

 We had to get these cute kiddos out of the way so we got a Scooby-doo video going with their sleeping bags laid out.  Tanner looked around, then asked, "mine?"  Luckily grandma had a sleeping bag she had just bought so she laid it out for Tanner.  He felt so cool with the big kids.  We stayed up so late just talking and laughing.  We worked so hard and have had to deal with so much with grandpa and the stress of moving that it was nice to just sit around chat.  I love my family!!

I had to get a picture (as sad as it is) of our empty house.  I had no idea how attached I had become to our home.  Especially when my mom left to go be with my dad and I was left alone to finish packing I think I cried the whole time.  I walked into a new room to start working and would just reminisce of all the memories we have made here and start crying again.  Things like...finishing our own basement and staying up all night long with Dan to get the paint done before carpet was laid the next day.  Then both of us laying on the new carpet laughing because we were too sick with strep throat a week later to get up and go up the stairs.   Or Sophia coming home from the hospital...and her learning how to walk.  Mason and Parker's first days of preschool and riding the bus for the first time.  The boys helping us as we put in our own yard and crying when the tractors came and took away their dirt pile in the front.  The almost nightly hikes Dan would take the kids on.  Finding out we were having another baby and telling the kids about it.  Bringing little Sawyer home from the hospital.  We have done a lot of work on this house, but it was home.  I can't even count how many crafts we have made or things we have baked in the kitchen.  Sadly I also remember crying nonstop for 2 whole days when Dan first went to Africa to work.  Crying myself to sleep when the boys said things like, "oh yeah, Dad was there....sometimes I forget about him."  Sleeping with all 3 of my kids in my bed because our house felt so empty without their dad there.  And worrying that our little baby boy would be born without him around.  Then, after he was born, him having to leave again and missing the first few months of his life. 

When Dan first called me and told me he FINALLY got a job my first question was, "where?"  I'll admit, I was definitely a downer for Dan who was so excited about his job offer when he told me Chicago.  I just had it in my head that somehow he would get a job in Utah and we could stay in our home.  I got off of the phone and cried.  I was surprised by my own reaction because we had talked about moving away and I knew it would be a great experience for the kids to see other places.  The reality of what that meant, though, was hard to take in.  I had to really pray about it and trust that this is the right thing for our family.  But after the last two years...I am so excited to just have our little family together again.  Of course, our goal is to get back to a point where we can move back closer to cousins...but this little family is the most important thing in our lives and whether we are in Utah or Chicago...at least we are together.